Habits are the things we think, feel and do automatically, without a conscious intention. So much so, in fact, we are often unaware of certain habits altogether.
Most people are familiar with the idea of good and bad behavioural habits, like exercising every day, or smoking. Not everyone realises that we also form habitual ways of thinking and feeling and that habitual thinking patterns lead to habitual feelings. This is all great, if the feelings you end up with are the feelings you want. But when people feel bad, all too often they have no idea how it happened.
People just end up feeling bad without realising what prompted the bad feelings.
But it gets worse.
People who feel bad, quite reasonably, start asking why they are feeling bad. The problem is, people rarely realise it was just some negative, habitual way of thinking and so they start to ‘blame’ other causes, like partners, their job, their children, politicians, depression, their childhood, anxiety, the weather, other drivers or just ‘fate’. By attributing bad feelings to other causes they stop taking responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings. At this point some people can really lose control over what happens to them and how they feel.
To change any habit, be it a behaviour like smoking or nail biting, negative thinking or feeling, the first thing we have to do is become aware of the structure of the habit. Once we know how we are keeping the habit going, we can we change it.
There are lots of really effective ways of speeding up the process of acquiring new and more positive habits. In fact, to get rid of any bad habit, it is always a good idea to replace it with a better one. It gives us something positive to focus on instead.
If you want to break a bad habit and create a better one, fill in the contact form to make an appointment with me, Harvey Taylor, here in Bournemouth or call me on 07974 228396.